Transgender Olympics

I was watching the 10,000m final on Sunday night and thought this is like a metaphor for me a person who is transgender.
For most of the race all the runners stay in a tight group, not drawing attention to themselves. Sound familiar? Every so often one runner will break free and then retreat into the pack to blend in again. This goes on for most of the race. Then bang with 2 laps to go, a few break free of the group and run to their goal of a medal and a life changing moment in history.
I have seen and read that some of us, are like sprinters, we decide and transition as fast as possible. For others, it is like a hurdles race with barriers in the way or even a steeplechase, with possible falls along the way. But the final outcome is the same, a medal of becoming who we are.
I hope everyone is enjoying the Olympics, it really is inspiring to us all.

Edinburgh is Sunny, It's a Miracle!

Since last Tuesday Edinburgh has been basking in glorious sunshine and temps around 25c. After weeks of cold and rain it is so nice to see everyone feeling happy. And saving money by switching off the central heating.

The downside is finding out your summer clothes are now all a little tight. Must be down to comfort eating in the horrible cold winter and spring. There are two solutions, either loose weight quickly, or shopping? I know the most fun way. The problem here is good weather can either last for weeks, which can be unusual but did happen a few years ago, or tomorrow we are all back to jumpers for the rest of the summer.

I hate decisions.

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Hit & Miss

Just finished watching Hit & Miss on sky atlantic, I must say its very good. The trannsexual element is there and done really well, but it has so much more. Really well written and filmed, and the music score is brilliant and sets the mood.

Don't want to spoil the plot, just watch it!

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Finishing electrolysis

Last month I stopped electrolysis, it was for a few reasons. First of all I had three and a half years of treatment. The issue of having to grow out stubble every week was becoming very annoying. I felt I wasn't moving on with things. The amount of money spent was also getting silly, I think I've spent in the region of £8000! I could have bought a new car. Things where needing done at home, so my outlays had to be cut. With the cost of living rising and being on a fixed income, things had to change. Lastly, I was finding to very painful every week. No amount of EMLA or painkillers where easing the pain. However the last four treatments I had where of Blend, and this was easier, but very slow.

At the moment my neck and sides still have hair, but I can handle this. It is much reduced though. Probably in the future I will return to treatment, but really needed a rest.

It was sad stopping and not seeing Marny and the girls, but will see them for some nice treatments soon.

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Been Rather Quiet

I got a fright when I noticed I hadn't blogged since end of February. Time flies when you're enjoying yourself, heehee. In reality life has been busy and kind of mundane.

Also since I got an iPad for christmas, I have also recently got an iPhone, and until tonight found blogging on them a real pain. Then a I had a brain rush and thought there must be a decent app, and there is. I have hardly used my laptop in months, I think I'm converting to apple, damn.

I have a few things to blog about and will do that over the next few days.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

My Week With NHS

What a few days it has been, middle of last week I was getting severe headaches. By last Saturday night they become quite unbearable. So an appointment for Dr M on Monday to find out the cause. This in was quite strange for me, as no slap, as I thought Dr M would want to see an au-natural face. My right eye, right side of face where all sore. After a couple of calls to the Eye Pavillion, it was decided I had an infection in my sinus. So strong antibiotics where prescribed, it's now Friday and they are certainly improved things. It's something I have never suffered from, the discomfort and constant headaches where something else. Pacing the flat and lack of sleep really doesn't help when you are feeling pain. I know have to get my eyes tested to check the pressure of them, as it seems unusual the eye is affected.

Tuesday this week saw me back at the GP's, yes I know I sound a nightmare, I'm not honest. This time it was blood tests, and blood pressure, and wow 132/66 the lowest it has ever been, I also got my vitimum B12 as well. Nurse D was also being very kind to me and didn't weigh me, a great result. After this I was seeing Dr G for removal of 2 growths on my left cheek, she used a blow torch of liquid nitrogen to hopefully burn them off. It seems to be working as they are now blackened, I might have to go back for another treatment. So Tuesday saw me leave the surgery with a throbbing right side of face and a stinging left side of face, ain't I lucky.

Wednesday, I took my Aunt and Uncle to Gratnavel Hospital in Glasgow, as he is having an eye operation. All seems to be well, even after last minute concerns with his general health. Today I have brought my Mum, and other Aunt and Uncle to visit him. Next week I will be back through to take him home, so another trip through to Glasgow, and no shopping!

I warned in the last post it's all hospitals, my Dad was seeing about his thyroid on Wednesday as well, he was well pleased as no decision was made about removal. A stay of execution for a couple of months, but I think poor of Edinburgh Royal Infirmary, but I have said that before.

It's been nice driving a new car, as I have been put on my Uncles insurance, so nice to get away from my over sized go kark called a MG. I keep thinking it has stopped not hearing the engine, but my own car is more fun to drive.

Hospitals Are My Social Life

The next few weeks I think hospitals are going to be my social life. My Uncle goes in for an eye operation in Glasgow, my Dad sees a specialist for thyroid problems all on the 22nd, I have 2 appointments on the 21st.

Yesterday I had the joy of yet more electrolysis, it was kind of sore again. But I think it was my fault this week, as I slept in for the appointment, forgot to take change for parking, and ended up a little stressed and not much time for EMLA to take effect. With electrolysis it is important to be quite calm and relaxed. I also got into trouble for not enough growth, so Marny was searching for hairs to zap. The central area is pretty much clear, so next week it is the right cheek, as I hate having to turn my head for the left.

Wednesday, saw me at the GP's to see Dr M, I had first appointment 8.20am. I hate early mornings but it gets me up and about. I even managed to beat Dr M to the surgery, heehee, her excuse was traffic in Edinburgh, I think see slept in. Things are looking good with my blood pressure, this time 132/77, I don't think I have been that low in 5 years. Dr M thought I was looking very smart, must have been my new Ugg boots, they are a cheap copy only ten pounds!! On the 21st I see Nurse D, for a B12 injection, what are the odds she will weigh me, for some reason she is the only one who does. Right after I see her I see Dr G for liquid nitrogen to try and remove a couple of growths under my eye.

At home I have been busy trying to set up network drives to centralise my data, it has been very educational. I think I'm just about there. Ipad, laptop, Apple Tv and desktop all seem to talk to each other. The project for next week, is to set up remote access, I think I will need Lorna's help for this.

Lorna comes back to Edinburgh on Tuesday, she has been in Washington DC for just over a week, getting her US Citizenship, but sadly it got cancelled. She will have to go back next month again to get it, so I have the oracle for another month.

A Busy January

I've had a busy few weeks, some stressful and some fun. My ongoing lack of satellite tv finally got resolved, after 30 days. Sky is the worst company I have ever dealt with, I still haven't finished with them. What I did learn from the experience was I'm still easily stressed out with certain situations. I could feel my blood pressure rising over a week of trying to get decent service, the stress was leaving me exhausted, irritable, and unable to switch off from the situation. This is not very good, as I had thought medication had calmed me down a lot, I suppose meds are good but not miracle workers.

The experience made me realise if you have or do suffer from depression/anxiety that you need to be aware of outside forces that can put you over the edge. I'm glad that now I lead a very quiet life I can control mostly what interaction I have and thus keep these things away from me that stress me out.

Lately I have had a few family things to do, Alice's birthday (my niece) we went out for a Chinese meal, it was very good. Although Alice had a big seizure, she still seemed to enjoy herself, was also out with her on Saturday. Been through to Glasgow for an appointment with my aunt and uncle, his eye is going to fixed in the next few months. Think I might be running a shuttle service for visiting him. Got my mum a couple of books for her birthday, she is very happy with them, even though my dad forgot! My step niece has gone back to America this weekend to gain her dual nationality, I think she's coming back to Edinburgh next Monday. It all depends on work and if the pull of stateside living pulls her after 9 months away.

It's funny when you do an update on the blog, I have been busy. Perhaps not achieving much, but busy.

Has The Shrink Shrunk?

Today saw me back through at Sandyford GIC in Glasgow, to see the shrink. Dr G is a nice guy, although very deep, I'm starting to get a laugh with him. We went through blood tests, all are looking fine testosterone is 1.5, nice and very low, estrogen is 207, which could be higher. He is happy with the dosages as I'm happy for things to happen gradually. It will be 6 months until I see him again, when bloods are checked again.

It always amazes me how the professionals seem to think we need help from LGBT, it bugs me that I have to say "not my scene, tried it didn't like it". To me LGBT is very political and sexual, I don't need that in my life, I know I'm part of a minority group, but why the need to join up, I would rather join the big group of society.

On BBC3 tonight was a programme called Coming Out Diaries, it followed 3 people coming to terms with their sexuality and gender. 2 trans people and 1 lesbian, their stories all covered family, friends and the fear of coming out and their own turmoils. It's very much worth a watch, I could relate a lot to it. You can view it on the iplayer I'm sure.

Sky Is The Limit

Today I joined the 21st century again, and got my Sky satellite fixed. It's great to have it back, got my favourite programmes all set to record and watching sport on the big screen is fabby. It's been 3weeks of watching on the iPad, great but not the same.

My enjoy has been diminished with the total lack of customer service from their engineers though. They left my media centre in a mess, chipped mY paintwork and refused to tidy the cable on the outside of the building. I've called customer services and logged a complaint, the staff on the phones are very nice, and a manager will be visiting me shortly to discuss my complaint. I will only be happy when I'm compensated for the hassle and the cable is secured to the building, I will wait hoping.

Tomorrow I'm off to see the shrink at Sandyford GIC in Glasgow, not looking forward to the drive as it has turned quite icy here in Scotland. It is a round trip of 100 miles, so a good nights sleep is in order.

Another Visit To The Surgery

This morning saw another visit to see Dr M, it was a cool visit as I had not seen her for since before Chrnistmas. All my blood tests are good, my body is coping well with new blood pressure pill and no swelling ankles, yippee. On a slight downside my blood pressure was slightly high, so back to see Dr M in a month. Also, I got a referral to get a large spot on my cheek removed/decreased, just need to get an appointment for that. An ongoing thing I have had for many years is body acne, she was gave me a lotion to try and ease this as well.

I've enjoyed the time since New Year, it's nice to get back to normal. Also getting my iPad all setup has been fun, even though I deleted loads of photos by mistake, luckily I have back-ups. If anyone knows some great apps, please post a comment to let me know, and others.

My blog has really amazed me, I started it properly at the beginning of December, and this week hit a milestone of hits, not telling how many, but I'm really happy. Again any ideas on topics just post a comment.

A New Year, New Ideas...........Maybe

New Year has past us by, it's now 2012, where do the years go?? I spent Hogmanny at The Espy in Portobello by the beach, it was a really enjoyable evening, nice food, nice music, nice drinks and family. Who could ask for more? At midnight everyone went out on the beach to watch the fireworks and bonfires, there was even a bagpiper.

New Years Day was spent eating too much at my sisters, really must loose weight soon. Dad spoke all day, I'm sure my mum doesn't speak to him and he saves it all up until a captive audience is around. It was his birthday as well so we all just tuned out, and let him listen to his own voice.

The rest of the week, Edinburgh has been battered with storms, on Tuesday 102mph was recorded here. There has been lots of damage and disruption, so a very quiet week. The thought of going out just wasn't there for a few days, although I managed a trip to Marks & Spencer on Thursday, need new jeans. I was surprised how quiet the shop was, but it was enjoyable to be out for a while.

Friday night was spent with my school friends, it was so great to catch up with them again. I lost contact with them for over 10 years, due to drinking and my trans issues felt it was easier to move on. How wrong I was, they are so accepting it's fab, and their kids are great, a really nice family. What was even nicer about Friday was there was no trans chat, it was just a chatty evening, but I know I can talk trans if I need to.

Today I saw Marny (electrolysis) for the start of this years torture. The centre of my face is now clear, yippee, just the cheeks to do. I'm hoping this will be finished by Easter. My neck area has only has IPL, I think I can live with that, and just shave it, the pain factor has won that area over.