A Transsexual, A Squirrel & Nuts

One of todays questions,

Where do squirrels store their nuts?

Where is this leading?

Squirrels collect and store nuts so they'll have food to last through winter. That thriftiness benefits more than just the squirrel—it helps the trees, too. That's according to Rob Swihart, a wildlife ecologist at Purdue University. Nuts clearly are dependent on either gravity or animals for dispersal. Squirrels are one of the most important species in this regard.

Ok, I asked this question, because I thought it was in their sack, or pocket! I know very uneducated, and there are loads of squirrels in Edinburgh.

Last night as I was watching television, in my usual position of lying on the couch, there was a huge ouch from my grion area as I got up. And this raised the second question of today .........................

Where does a transsexaul hide their nuts?

For visitors from abroad, "nuts" is a slang term for testicles. Just so we are thinking the same.

The first Google search came up with this.........

The concept is to push the testicles up into the inguinal canal (their little "burrow"). The genitals are then pulled backwards and held in place with tight underwear and/or tape.

Second Google search.........

Drag queens use duct tape but be sure to shave first.

I find both to be very eye watering, esp. the duct tape, even on shaved skin. somehow there is no advive on how to remove it! Over the years I have found Marks & Spencers "Magic Pants" the solution. Ok, I agree not exactly "Victoria Secerts", but they do the job really well, and no pain. Hence last night the "nuts" went a wandering without them and got into no-mans land. A very painfull experience it was. The other solution is not to wear very tight clothing, as it helps hide, including a slightly large tummy as well. Over the years hormones also decrease the size of everything and this makes life so much easier.

I hope Santa is reading this, as I do need a few more pairs. Ho Ho Ho

Much easier for squirrels.

Sky News Press Preview

I try to watch the Sky Press Review ever Monday night at 11.30 as it's the best live comedy going. The news is great but Tory Boy and Maguire are always trying to make Ann Botting corpse, this night they all went.

Another Visit to the Demon Dentist

9.45am I arrive at the dentist, not sitting about waiting, meet Ann the dentist and straight into the chair. Ann tells me she has already been nasty to a patient this morning, so she os now in a good mood. Her assistant totally agrees, I feel so much relieved, as Ann normally gets on to me, I do give it back though. After a few proddings and saying lots of numbers, I'm told it's time for butterflies? A look of panic, what butterfles, it's a dentist, not Dobbies Butterfly Farm a few miles up the road, and in my month. Ann explains it's detailed x-rays, wow, just get choked when she shoved the thingy in my mouth, clough & splatter. It always concerns me, x-rays are safe, but why do they leave the room, and leave me on my own. If it's dangerous I want to leave as well, seems simple to me.Once Ann and her assistant return, I'm given a compliment, hey they look good and strong.

I'm thinking this is good, and bang the scaling starts, yuck, hate it. Why do they put so much in your mouth and they speak to you and moan at your shut mouth. To me it's natural, something in mouth, I want to eat it. you never eat with your mouth open, bad manners. Half way through I must have been getting on Ann's nerves as a total face shower with water from are machine, well it cooled me down. But hey, it was some dribble up my face, heehee.

Over and done, you must be joking, I'm told gum problems really need looked at and NHS Dental Hospital not brave enough to take me own, only option is private and a bill in the very high hundreds of pounds, oh dear. I just can not afford that, so Ann offers another scaling in 8 weeks, joy oh joy! I'm hoping regular scaling will hopefully solve the problem.

All in all it was quite funny with Ann as she is a caring person and good sense of humour, there is nothing worse than speaking to professionals who seem to be above you, and totally lack a connection with patients. You'll be glad to read next dentist post is end of Jan 2012.

Beware of the Dentist

Before this visit in June the last time I had a dental appointment was around 1985 at school. A traumatic event that was, a nice young female dentist kneeling on my chest, yes I know this sounds nice for a young boy. But she was trying with all her force to pull healthy teeth, I just needed more room in my mouth.

Well in June a tooth blew up, bits flying everywhere, and no amount of pills could kill the pain. I bit the bullet, it would have been less painfull, and booked an apointment in Portobello. To say I was scared is an under-estimate, but I went. Having to go wasn't as easy as opening your mouth, I had to out myself, so lots of documents and explain I'm on benefits as well. Anxiety levels where very high that morning. Alas, paperwork went very well, even though I still needed to pay, seems if you are unemployed you get everything free, if you are ill you pay!! Can't quite get my mind round this, but hayho.

As I sat waiting for my dentist to call me, I was stunned when an elder lady with a crutch called my name. My think was what have I done I'm getting a cripple to poke things in my mouth, lets exit stage left, damn too slow, I'm led to the torture chain. Ann the dentist says to me "You are unlucky this morning getting the old moaning bitch", well I was stunned, but liked the style. She was very caring and also said "The door is there and you can go at anytime". Cool I could get out of this, anyways as the prodding continued Ann said I needed 2 fillings and my gums where not in a good state. Not bad for 26 years, I was really pleased. She did some scaling, which must have been hard as I kept my mouth shut, and I got 1 filling as well. End of appointment and i'm thinking don't need to be back here again for a long time, but no the immortal words, you'll need to book an appointment for tomorrow for the other filling, damn damn damn!

The following morning, a little less stressful as I know what is coming. This time was the DRILL, yuck the smell of burning foaming from my mouth, and right up my nose. Get me out of here thoughts again, but wow it was over. Yet again Ann drops the bombshell, you'll need to book an appointment for tomorrow so she could file it down, will this never end? Yes the next day, it's filed and cool, defianately not coming back for more torture, but she drops the bomb again, see you tomorrow for a scaling again. Four visits to a dentist in a week, this is not good, I've managed 26 years!! And this torture has cost me alot of money!

Move forward 4 weeks and well toothache, it was so bad I had to call NHS24, advised to take painkillers, none around on a Friday night so a car trip to Mum's at 11pm. Still sore on Monday so of we go to see Ann, well the caring woman said to me"Told you your gums are in a bad way", ha ha ha, more filing of the filling so it didn't put pressure on the one above. Ann says " Book your check-up", I replied "Yes for the year 2036", a chuckle was recieved from Ann.

Then at the end of October, toothache again. Why is it once you visit a dentist you end up never away from them, it's just not fair. This time gum disease, and the caring sharing Ann gives me pills to kill the infection, great not alot of prodding around. For some reason she smiles, I leave get in the car and go for the pills, the chemist tells me "No drinking with these pills". They always say that, get home read the leaflet, check google and there is defianately no drinking with these pills. They give them to drunks to get them off booze, touch booze and you throw up. Brilliant, it's my birthday weekend!!!!!! I hate birthdays, but they are ok with a beer or wine, I have coffee and diet Irn-bru.

43th birthday is certainly one to remember.

I see Ann tomorrow (Monday) for my check-up. Wish me luck>

A Massive Update - Part 2

Well I have summarised all the medical stuff, now for the personal bits.

Just after christmas I got an email from a couple I hadn't seen or been in touch with for 14 years. It was sad it had been so long, but I was in a bad state back then, and moving house, well it seemed better to move on. Also with my transistion i didn't know if to reply or not. Well I did, with the full coming out pack I used a few years ago, and to my surprise a reply from David & Gillian. We met up and a great few hours, I could not believe where 14 years went, I now keep in touch with them both, they are busy people and I wish I could see them more, but knowing they are with me is great.

The beginning of the year saw my neice Alice move into permenent care, life was getting quite unbearable at home with her behaviour. She is physical and mentally handicapped, and has severe problems with sleep and being alone. The house she stays in now is very good and she is well looked after and we see her most weeks. Alice is now working in a centre, doing cooking and woodwork. The transistion of Alice was very hard as we all felt we had failed looking after her, but we now realise things couldn't go on as it was and now everyone including Alice are much happier.

In July my sister and partner married, it was a great day in Edinburgh. I met up with Steph from Devon, a real character, and also Emma from London who I had seen for many years. The weekend was just not long enough.

August saw my 2 buddies Banjo & Soxs being evicated from my sisters house, all because one neighbour didn't like them. They also peed in their entrance hall, but cats have rights. My sister Elaine, husband Richard and the boys where all upset at them going, at least the boys see them at their dad's flat. They went to my ex-brother-in-laws to live, so I don't see them anymore. When the family went on holiday I use to look after them both here in my flat. It didn;t take long to get very attached to the pair. I will dedicate a whole post to Banjo & Soxs as I run a campaign to keep them.

Later in August Lorna, Richard's eldest daughter arrived. She is so clever and a total internet geek, I learn something new everytime I see her. It's down to her I started this blog again, she works from home as a writer, her stuff is brill, and unlike my blog has no spelling mistakes. I hope she stays around as I want to learn more from her.

Can not think of anything else major that happened. Now I just need to blog things as they come along.

A Massive Update - Part 1

It's been too long in updating this blog, I will promise to do it alot more often.

My issues with ERI are well closed, and such a relieve, I now go to Sandyford Clinic in Glasgow. Sandyford it is so caring, no pressure, and they listen to me. I have been doing therapy there for a year, trying to put demons to sleep and boosting my self-esteem. It is starting to come together, although next month I start a therapy called EMDR http://www.emdrassociation.org.uk/ if you want to see their site. I'm not sure about it, but will give it a try in December.

The medical care at Sandyford is very good, I see one of their team every 3-4 months. What is so mice there are no pigeon hole boxes which you need to conform to as at the ERI. Most occasions I do get into trouble with my much reduced smoking, as there is a danger of DVT's when mixed with HRT. My estrogen level isn't high enough, so my idea is loose weight and more effect from HRT. Janaury sees my next medical appointment, fingers crossed it goes well.

My local GP Dr M, is still so cool, we had to change one of my high blood pressure pills as I was getting bad cankles, didn't want cankles. In my opinion I have also lost alot of fluid as well, but the scales don't show it, YET!!! Just having to watch kidney function with all the meds I take. The staff at the medical centre have all been so nice to me, it's a real treat to go, even getting jabs everytime.

Well that's a start to my update, will do some more tomorrow.

Trying to link to Facebook

oh this is hard to do