What I've Felt Like

Over the past few weeks I have been wanting to write down how I felt, and well it just wasn't coming and probably will still come out all junky.

My body hasn't been feeling itself since the turn of the year, I suspect it's all the drugs I take. The digestive system is very unperdictable, weeks of not working then a few days of catching up. This is making me feel really bloated and rundown, and then great for a few days when I feel normal again, then it builds up again. Over the months I haven't change my diet or lifestyle so who knows, but is abit worrying. On my last visit to see my GP Dr M I kind of mentioned my weight problems to her, she was to the point as usual, "You'd look silly thin", what a great doc. Totally no preasure from her, and she did say that HRT usually increases weight. Also my strange dreams are still going with the occasional fantasy situation, but still a stressful situation, which is kind of making a good night sleep quite difficult. The good old number lottery of my BP has increased a small bit, so I need to watch that again. Breast development has also increased, which is great and hair removal is going well and painful as usual.

These things have really made me abit rundown, but I'm trying to force myself. Simple things like cleaning out my car thisweekend have really cheered me up as it was bugging me. I must remember what I learnt at Life Coaching, clear the small things and it's easy to address the large issues. This week I want to do a small thing each day, like file paperwork, clean out a cupboard etc, simple isn't it, I wish, motivation is tough.

I have also made arrangements to pick up my neice on a tuesday night and my youngest nephew on a wednesday night. It's great to spend some quality time with them, and then when I drop them off I get to see my sister and partner as well. So, socially this gets me out of my flat 2 nights a week, good result, and feel I'm doing something useful. Just need to build a social life away from my family, that's a bit harder.

Bye xx