Wednesday 31 March 2010
Bad Blood
I got a call from the GP yesterday, my white blood cell count is very high, and need to have a new blood test when I see her again. DUH. Of course I google'd what this could mean, and I don't really like what I read, lets just say "Big C", although if I have an infection the count raises, hence the delay in re-testing. But I really feel ok, just my usual niggles and moans. The next 5-6 weeks will be a little stressful, but to be honest I'm not worried too much. I think I will have a small party to myself for the next wee while, nothing takes your mind off things then a few drinks, and pizza.
Friday 26 March 2010
The Disorganised NHS
3 weeks ago I was suppose to have a final appointment with the Speach Therapist, but alas she hadn't put it in her new diary, so a wasted trip to the Edinburgh Royal Infirmary. Then on Monday I got a letter changing my appointment with the Gender Identity Clinic, and also the Dr I was suppose to see. Since last August I have had an appointment not booked, an appointment not sent to me, a double booked appointment meaning I didn't see Dr My, but a Disco Queen Dr I couldn't take seriously. Then this change to the Disco Queen Dr, I was tempted to email and complain, and demand that I see Dr My, but after speaking to my GP Dr M today I decided to go with the flow. Dr M said if I was unhappy with Disco Queen she would write to Dr My with concerns as I have not seen Dr My now for over a year. Personally I have been considering asking to be referred to Glasgow, as it seems a much bigger unit, and that would hopefully mean better organisation and care for patients.
It really has amazed me at the different levels of care in the NHS, my GP Practise, is absolutely brilliant, the local Minor Service Hospital brilliant, but the minute you go to ERI it falls down. Do I really want my medical needs looked after a place I have no trust or respect for? But I can't afford to go private, and the private specialist is Dr My, who seems just to be a money making machine, ripping of Transgender folk. Oh, I'm sounding very political, and I don't mean to be, it's just observations.
On a more positive note BP was looking good, 114/86, wayha, it's normal, Dr M was very pleased. Going back to the NHS, and I don't know if she was being serious, she said "This better be good today as 1st April is when the stats are collected for the year". Maybe she gets a bonus if she heals folk in a year? We also did a full range of blood tests, results in a week or so. I haven't to go back to see her for 6 weeks, ain't I good and got my shopping list of pills to get at Boots.
Today when I was out it seemed everyone you wish to avoid was about, a whole year of school kids walking along the street when I was getting my car. Police nosing about in my street when I got back, and a neighbour cleaning the stairs in the tennament I live. But there wasn't any funny looks that I noticed, just head held high. Starting to feel that at last my body is matching how I feel and I suppose this comes across. Anyways back to the electrolyis tomorrow, joy oh joy, can't wait, £45 for extreme pain, I could think of better ways of spending £45 a week.
It really has amazed me at the different levels of care in the NHS, my GP Practise, is absolutely brilliant, the local Minor Service Hospital brilliant, but the minute you go to ERI it falls down. Do I really want my medical needs looked after a place I have no trust or respect for? But I can't afford to go private, and the private specialist is Dr My, who seems just to be a money making machine, ripping of Transgender folk. Oh, I'm sounding very political, and I don't mean to be, it's just observations.
On a more positive note BP was looking good, 114/86, wayha, it's normal, Dr M was very pleased. Going back to the NHS, and I don't know if she was being serious, she said "This better be good today as 1st April is when the stats are collected for the year". Maybe she gets a bonus if she heals folk in a year? We also did a full range of blood tests, results in a week or so. I haven't to go back to see her for 6 weeks, ain't I good and got my shopping list of pills to get at Boots.
Today when I was out it seemed everyone you wish to avoid was about, a whole year of school kids walking along the street when I was getting my car. Police nosing about in my street when I got back, and a neighbour cleaning the stairs in the tennament I live. But there wasn't any funny looks that I noticed, just head held high. Starting to feel that at last my body is matching how I feel and I suppose this comes across. Anyways back to the electrolyis tomorrow, joy oh joy, can't wait, £45 for extreme pain, I could think of better ways of spending £45 a week.
Sunday 21 March 2010
What I've Felt Like
Over the past few weeks I have been wanting to write down how I felt, and well it just wasn't coming and probably will still come out all junky.
My body hasn't been feeling itself since the turn of the year, I suspect it's all the drugs I take. The digestive system is very unperdictable, weeks of not working then a few days of catching up. This is making me feel really bloated and rundown, and then great for a few days when I feel normal again, then it builds up again. Over the months I haven't change my diet or lifestyle so who knows, but is abit worrying. On my last visit to see my GP Dr M I kind of mentioned my weight problems to her, she was to the point as usual, "You'd look silly thin", what a great doc. Totally no preasure from her, and she did say that HRT usually increases weight. Also my strange dreams are still going with the occasional fantasy situation, but still a stressful situation, which is kind of making a good night sleep quite difficult. The good old number lottery of my BP has increased a small bit, so I need to watch that again. Breast development has also increased, which is great and hair removal is going well and painful as usual.
These things have really made me abit rundown, but I'm trying to force myself. Simple things like cleaning out my car thisweekend have really cheered me up as it was bugging me. I must remember what I learnt at Life Coaching, clear the small things and it's easy to address the large issues. This week I want to do a small thing each day, like file paperwork, clean out a cupboard etc, simple isn't it, I wish, motivation is tough.
I have also made arrangements to pick up my neice on a tuesday night and my youngest nephew on a wednesday night. It's great to spend some quality time with them, and then when I drop them off I get to see my sister and partner as well. So, socially this gets me out of my flat 2 nights a week, good result, and feel I'm doing something useful. Just need to build a social life away from my family, that's a bit harder.
Bye xx
My body hasn't been feeling itself since the turn of the year, I suspect it's all the drugs I take. The digestive system is very unperdictable, weeks of not working then a few days of catching up. This is making me feel really bloated and rundown, and then great for a few days when I feel normal again, then it builds up again. Over the months I haven't change my diet or lifestyle so who knows, but is abit worrying. On my last visit to see my GP Dr M I kind of mentioned my weight problems to her, she was to the point as usual, "You'd look silly thin", what a great doc. Totally no preasure from her, and she did say that HRT usually increases weight. Also my strange dreams are still going with the occasional fantasy situation, but still a stressful situation, which is kind of making a good night sleep quite difficult. The good old number lottery of my BP has increased a small bit, so I need to watch that again. Breast development has also increased, which is great and hair removal is going well and painful as usual.
These things have really made me abit rundown, but I'm trying to force myself. Simple things like cleaning out my car thisweekend have really cheered me up as it was bugging me. I must remember what I learnt at Life Coaching, clear the small things and it's easy to address the large issues. This week I want to do a small thing each day, like file paperwork, clean out a cupboard etc, simple isn't it, I wish, motivation is tough.
I have also made arrangements to pick up my neice on a tuesday night and my youngest nephew on a wednesday night. It's great to spend some quality time with them, and then when I drop them off I get to see my sister and partner as well. So, socially this gets me out of my flat 2 nights a week, good result, and feel I'm doing something useful. Just need to build a social life away from my family, that's a bit harder.
Bye xx
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